Hope Springs Eternal: Miami-Dade County Mayor Carlos Alvarez vetoes UDB Extension

We were wondering what if anything Miami-Dade County's mayor had done recently since winning the right from the people to be a "strong mayor." For those who backed his proposal as we were proud to do, we are given hope by today's news that he vetoed extending the sacrosanct (at least to a few county commissioners) UDB. Hopefully Alvarez will become more pro-active on equally important issues such a transportation and housing.

UpDate (4/25/08): The Miami-Dade County Commission votes 9-4 to move the UDB to allow a Lowes Home Improvement store. Even if Alvarez vetoes the vote, the commission has enough votes to override it. Next step: litigation. The state will oppose and we predict the county will lose. Right now, the people have lost thanks to these short-sighted, visionless, usual suspects: Bruno Barreiro, Jose "Pepe" Diaz, Audrey Edmonson, Barbara Jordan, Martinez, Dorrin Rolle, Natacha Seijas, Rebeca Sosa and Javier Souto.

UpDate (4/30): Alvarez vetoes the vote. Whoop-te-doo.

UpDate (5/7): The county commission overrides Alvarez's veto 8 to 4. Those who voted against this asinine proposal and who should be lauded are: Commissioners Carlos Gimenez, Dennis Moss, Katy Sorenson and Sally Heyman. Now it goes to the state. Expect another court fight.

UpDate (7/18): The State overrides the county stating "the city and the county skirted their own growth-management rules." The State believes "there is still enough land inside the development boundary for commercial growth." According to Mike McDaniel, chief of comprehensive planning, "There is no need for additional commercial land." Lowes vows to fight on.

The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

The Good: Venezuelans said "¡No!" to the Asshole of the Americas.

The Bad: Russians vote for the Asshole of Russia.

The Ugly: Both assholes will make the world an uglier place; one will try to reverse the election, the other will use it to steer his country further away from ally to foe by all means necessary. Both fuckers will affect where we live.

Where is Blondie when we need him?

The Usual Suspects: Miami-Dade County Commissioners vote 8 to 5 to push back the Urban Development Boundary

The Urban Development Boundary isn't supposed to be touched or moved an inch. It's been there since 1989 to protect ourselves from over development and encroachment of our wellfields and recharge areas, working farms, and environmental lands vital to the health of the Everglades and Biscayne National Parks. Yesterday marked the third time Lowe's came before the commission to request extending the boundary further west so that they can build another home improvement super store. Despite county staff recommendation NOT to do it, 8 commissioners did. They are: Bruno Barreiro, Jose "Pepe" Diaz, Joe Martinez, Javier Souto, Dorrin Rolle, Barbara J. Jordan, Natacha Seijas, and Audrey Edmonson.

They should be ashamed of themselves.

Environmental activists have sworn to file a suit to stop the project if county Mayor Carlos Alvarez refuses to veto it first.

In any event, it now goes to the state for a third time. Twice the state, which oversees such matters, voted against extending the boundary. Let's hope they remain consistent.

For those commissioners who stood firmly against such a cockamamie notion, we applaud them heartily. They are: Carlos Gimenez, Sally Heyman, Dennis Moss, Katy Sorenson, and Rebecca Sosa.

UpDate (12/5): Miami-Dade County Mayor Carlos Alarez vetoes the resolution.

UpDate (4/25/08): The Miami-Dade County Commission votes 9-4 to move the UDB. Even if Alvarez vetoes the vote, the commission has enough votes to override it. Next step: litigation. The state will oppose and we predict the county will lose. Right now, the people have lost thanks to these short-sighted, visionless, usual suspects: Bruno Barreiro, Jose "Pepe" Diaz, Audrey Edmonson, Barbara Jordan, Martinez, Dorrin Rolle, Natacha Seijas, Rebeca Sosa and Javier Souto.

UpDate (4/30): Alvarez vetoes the vote. Whoop-te-doo.

UpDate (5/7): The county commission overrides Alvarez's veto 8 to 4. Those who voted against this asinine proposal and who should be lauded are: Commissioners Carlos Gimenez, Dennis Moss, Katy Sorenson and Sally Heyman. Now it goes to the state. Expect another court fight.

UpDate (7/18): The State overrides the county stating "the city and the county skirted their own growth-management rules." The State believes "there is still enough land inside the development boundary for commercial growth." According to Mike McDaniel, chief of comprehensive planning, "There is no need for additional commercial land." Lowes vows to fight on.

Joe Martinez: The Most Dangerous Man on the Miami-Dade Commission

Joe Martinez is the powerful chairman of the Miami-Dade County Commission. He is also a man who can't take "No!" for an answer because developers are again knocking on nature's door with proposals to extend the Urban Development Boundary. We're already living on the edge of the Everglades but extending the boundary (in this case for a Lowe's home improvement center) is too much. He should be like fellow commissioner Katy Sorenson who won't even consider such an option. His reasoning for opening Pandora's box: Loew's promises to build a flyover which will relieve traffic congestion in that neck of the woods. How sad.

UpDate (4/25/08): The Miami-Dade County Commission votes 9-4 to move the UDB. Even if Alvarez vetoes the vote, the commission has enough votes to override it. Next step: litigation. The state will oppose and we predict the county will lose. Right now, the people have lost thanks to these short-sighted, visionless, usual suspects: Bruno Barreiro, Jose "Pepe" Diaz, Audrey Edmonson, Barbara Jordan, Martinez, Dorrin Rolle, Natacha Seijas, Rebeca Sosa and Javier Souto.

UpDate (4/30): Alvarez vetoes the vote. Whoop-te-doo.

UpDate (5/7): The county commission overrides Alvarez's veto 8 to 4. Those who voted against this asinine proposal and who should be lauded are: Commissioners Carlos Gimenez, Dennis Moss, Katy Sorenson and Sally Heyman. Now it goes to the state. Expect another court fight.

UpDate (7/18): The State overrides the county stating "the city and the county skirted their own growth-management rules." The State believes "there is still enough land inside the development boundary for commercial growth." According to Mike McDaniel, chief of comprehensive planning, "There is no need for additional commercial land." Lowes vows to fight on.

Random Thoughts from MVB

• The race for mayor of Miami Beach has always been disappointing with its lack of ideas, but now it has also grown uglier. It appears our candidate of choice Simon Cruz has pulled off the kid gloves and is going bare knuckle against his opponent, the grandmotherly but dangerous Mattie Herrera Bower. Her side began the scuffle with a lie and now Cruz is responding with half-truths implying she's not for the Jews (her husband's Jewish) and TV ads that present Ms. Bower as someone who isn't qualified to shoulder the responsibility of the mayor's office. The TV ads show Ms. Bower over and over again admitting she doesn't have a clue when it comes to what is being presented to her at the commission meetings which is true but these spots make it look like grandma's being picked on by a much younger man. This could come back like a sucker punch in the back of the head at the polls this Tuesday. It reminds us of the beef jerky commercials. You don't mess with grandma Bower just like you don't mess with Sasquatch:
  

• We can only hope Cruz isn't hurled by the voters out of City Hall like Sasquatch hurls those idiots that are picking on him. Why? Because he's the most qualified and open minded of the two. He's open to revisiting BayLink which is probably the most important issue facing Miami Beach (but which no one running for office talks about). Unless a mass transit system is championed between the Beach and the Mainland, the quality of life will continue to be less than it could be. Only Cruz has been willing to face the inevitable-- unlike Bower who seems to fear and mistrust outright any idea that will get traffic off the streets it if means accommodating those living on the mainland. So, despite Mr. Cruz's willingness to mix it up with grandma Bower, please consider the alternative and vote Tuesday for Simon "Messin' with the SoBe Sasquatch" Cruz.
• Vote for Deede Weithorn, too, for Miami Beach commissioner. She's in a very close run off and shouldn't be. She is so qualified. Voters should have been stumbling over themselves to get her elected the first time.
• According to the Miami Herald, "More than 71,000 residential property owners in Miami-Dade and Broward failed to pay property taxes for 2006 and delinquencies are growing as costs climb and the slump deepens." The total unpaid amount: $365 million. In Miami-Dade, that's 41,544 residential property owners (one in 16 households). You don't have to be a financial guru to predict that this crisis will be as devastating as a direct hit by an Andrew-class hurricane if something isn't done to bail people out. Too bad most of these homeowners drive to and from work. What with the rising cost of gasoline, it is going to become even more difficult to pay taxes and make their mortgage payments. Now, if this region had a working commuter rail running north and south and a monorail running east and west, they could scrap their cars in favor of keeping a roof over their heads. Unfortunately, that option isn't there.
• Miami-Dade County wants to add "Miami-Dade" to Carnival Center. We're against this idea because of two things. One is aesthetics. Less is always more. The other is ethics. "Miami-Dade" is synonymous with slime, bribes, incompetence, waste, political correctness, and back-room politics. Don't make us think about that every time we look at the buildings.
• What's with all the weathermen and women retiring and skipping town? Do they know something we don't know? First it was Elita Loresca. Now, after a blatantly orchestrated and prolonged exit for retiring weatherman Don Noe that's built around getting local "celebrities" to pronounce how sad they are and how much they're going to miss him through staged video spots every night for the past two weeks, it began to dawn on us that quite possibly these weather professionals might really know something we don't. Should we be worried? Sir Manny Mojito and the Knights of the Mesa Redonda think we should. After a short break following their valiant and body breaking effort to keep hurricane Noel away from our shores, the boys in chainmail have started a 24-hour "worship-a-thon" in front of the Goddess of the Storm altar. UpDate (11/24): Now it appears that some of the people who know better when it comes to hurricanes are taking it a step further. Instead of skipping town or retiring, one of them has actually had the temerity to die on us. Herbert Saffir, who came up with the hurricane classification system known as the Saffir-Simpson Hurricane Scale, died today at the age of 90. What? He couldn't hold out until the end of hurricane season?
  

UpDate (1/10/08): This is the last post that mentioned Carnival Center. As of today, the name will change to Arsht Center for the Performing Arts because Adrinne Arsht agreed to donate $30 million and Carnival didn't have a problem with it. Ms. Arsht sold her Total Bank last year for $300 million so it's not like she's going to miss it. Now, if they can only come up with a way to get people to buy enough tickets to make it profitable.

Michael Putney Explains it All

What's wrong with Miami-Dade County government? According to Michael Putney, one of south Florida's most respected journalists, it's the Miami-Dade Charter Review Task Force. And we agree. This week the Miami Herald ran a column he wrote regarding his personal observation of the task force at work. It's not pretty. Their job once every five years is to review the county charter and to recommend changes to make it better. He attributes the embarrassing state of county affairs (which gives this blog its meat) to the new strong mayor (we're not so sure that's a bad thing) and a 1993 court decision mandating single-member districts (we whole heartily agree with that assessment). Unfortunately, it appears that this task force won't be stopping or reducing the "parochialism of the most toxic kind along with self-interested commissioners whose top priority is protecting his or her own turf."

"The task force could stop or reduce this practice, but gives no indication that it will. What a wasted opportunity if it doesn't. I attended a task force meeting last week and came away disappointed and depressed. There are several knowledgeable people among its 21 members, but they're being drowned out by others who reflect the short-sighted self-interest of the people who appointed them."

Who are these bully-boys: lawyer/lobbyists Miguel de Grandy and Jorge Luis Lopez.

According to Putney, they basically "framed the issues and drove the discussion. Not surprisingly, both argue against any substantive charter changes."

Putney is still optimistic however. He's "convinced" the task force's chair Victor M. Diaz Jr really means well and wants the panel to "act boldly and produce some meaningful recommendations." To that end, he urges "anyone interested in fixing the problems with Miami-Dade government to call or write Diaz and the task force members: www.miami-dade.gov/charterreview.

Or show up at the next meeting November 20th at 10am at County Hall. As he writes, "Get in their face. Remind them that they have a unique opportunity. It would be a shame to blow it."

Right on, Michael!

After the Vote

There is a Blog God after all. For all of those who forum on the Net through personal observations about politics and the arts (like us), it looks like we won't be short of inspiration thanks to yesterday's elections. Of the candidates we championed, it was refreshing to see that the City of Hialeah is as horney as it wants to be with the election of Jose "Pepe" Caragol whose campaigning slogan "If you love oral sex, vote for Jose 'Pepe' Caragol," seems to have worked.

In Miami Beach, there will be a runoff between Simon (no nickname) Cruz and the grandmotherly but dangerous Matti Herrera Bower. Cruz is a gentleman and has been conducting a non-smear campaign which is saying a lot for this community. He has to battle misleading information, some of which comes from the Miami Herald-- which has yet to make a correction. Mr. Cruz is open to BayLink unlike his runoff opponent who is at best a David Dermer obstructionist who basically wants to keep Miami Beach the way it was before it became popular. We hope you will consider going back to the polls in two weeks to ensure Miami Beach will get a better chance at facing the inevitable-- change-- by electing Simon (this guy needs a nickname) Cruz.

Finally, Deede Weithorn is also in another Miami Beach runoff. With an engineering degree from MIT and a practicing CPA, she probably is by far the smartest person ever to run for office in that city. She's also open to revisiting BayLink as the mass transit solution to getting large amounts of people from one side of the bay to the other-- which, for no other reason, is why you should vote her into office. At the forum where the Miami Herald misquoted Cruz, the candidates were asked about BayLink. Ms. Weithorn's opponent (whom we will not mention) didn't respond. Not a good sign. Ms. Weithorn, on the other hand, not only made a compelling reply, she made an effort following the forum to seek us out to talk further. We liked that and were thoroughly impressed with her up-close-and-personal one-on-one. Go ahead and give her your vote.

Simon Cruz for mayor of Miami Beach

In our 10/23 posting, we admitted-- as does the Sun Post-- we couldn't recommend any of the mayoral candidates running for office in Miami Beach. Our reasons were based on the fact that, as hard as we tried, we couldn't see any vision. Until now. In today's Miami Herald Neighbors, it mentions that Cruz is for BayLink as opposed to Mattie Bower, his main opponent. That's enough for us.

Vote for Simon Cruz for mayor of Miami Beach.

UpDate (11/3): Opposition TV ads quote Cruz as saying the following: ''If you can't take their money, drink their liquor, mess with their women and vote against them, you should not be in politics.'' That quote was picked up from a 10/26 Miami Herald article but it shouldn't be attributed to Cruz. I was at that public forum and Cruz prefaced the quote by telling everyone it was by Huey Long although Wikipedia attributes it to Jesse M. Unruh (which we tend to believe because our own research couldn't find Huey Long attached to anything as outrageous as that quote). In any event, Cruz was misquoted in the Miami Herald and now it appears he may end up paying for it. By the way, Cruz used the quote to deflate his opponent Mattie Bower Herrera's grandstanding sneak attack on his accepting money for his campaign from special interests. She wanted him to give the money back. He explained that money has never influenced his votes and used the quote for emphasis. The audience reaction he got that night was applause and laughter-- something that also failed to find its way into the Miami Herald.

City of Miami Commissioner Sarnoff Makes A Joke

To City of Miami Commissioner Marc Sarnoff

Never say MVB doesn't try to be fair and balanced with our take on local politics. We like to think we tell it like it is-- or should be-- and try to give credit where it is due no matter how much our opinions may differ on the dais. Case in point: although we consider Marc Sarnoff to be the "song and dance man" on the City of Miami commission, he must be given credit for a great one-liner that succinctly describes the half billion dollar Carnival performing arts center, aka the PAC. In today's Miami Herald, he will forever link in our mind the letters PAC with "Post Apocalyptic Center."

And, since we're in such a charitable mood, we support him on his slapped down attempt to wrestle control of the quasi-public Downtown Development Authority* from fellow commissioner Joe Sanchez. Sarnoff thinks the DDA isn't pulling its weight as do we. Instead of commissioning another study about downtown, as the DDA is more inclined to do than doing something of actual worth, we both agree that the agency should be more pro-active in achieving concrete-- as in sidewalk-- results. To take it a step further, we think commissioner Joe Sanchez, the still reigning chairman of the DDA, and Dana Nottingham, the executive director of the DDA, would be more effective if they got up out of their cushy executive chairs and went downtown with a shovel to scrape the gum off the sidewalks.

UpDate (6/21): DDA directors approved the agency's $4.1 million operating budget. It includes

• $1.9 million in salaries and benefits for its 20-person staff,
• $899,000 in operating expenses ($211,000 for marketing and publicity and $102,000 for professional fees including accounting and auditing),
• $135,000 for a tenant improvement program,
• $60,000 for a retail leasing consultant,
• $35,000 to create a Biscayne Blvd café district,
• $15,000 for a retail training program.

That ought to cover the cost of a few more shovels.

*In fairness to our limited but oh so worthy readers, we should note that our publisher received payment for winning an "Urban Walls" mural contest way back in 1977, probably long before many of this blog's readers were born. Our allegiance will always be with the original DDA executives but none of them are currently affiliated with today's DDA due to death and attrition over the many years.

UpDate 2/16/08: Dana Nottingham, the DDA's director, finally gets the heave ho with a $180,000 severance deal.

In Their Own Words...

"We seem to be fighting everybody -- we're fighting the feds, we're fighting the state, we're fighting the cities, we're fighting the mayor.''-- Katy Sorenson, Miami-Dade County Commissioner, as quoted in The Miami Herald

And the county mayor is fighting both the commission and the feds. Talk about a litigious society! It's a miracle anything gets done around here. Well, maybe we should qualify what we mean by "done." We mean in the sense of "well done." Most of the stuff local government accomplishes is fodder for embarrassing media stories about cost overruns by ham-handed, visionless bureaucrats who will occasionally steal from the public trough.

Miami Could Use A Few Good Men In Dresses

MVB finds it amazing that Largo, FL fired its city manager Steve Stanton not for incompetency, but for his desire to become a woman. They don't know how fortunate they were to have a professional who could balance a budget without relying on "fuzzy economics," drama, and innuendo. Most communities (with the possible exception of Hialeah) would kill for competent leadership like that, dick or no dick. We predict the 14-year employee of what is described as a 76,000 "bedroom community" west of Tampa will sue their bigoted, redneck asses for all kinds of legitimate reasons and win.

UpDate (4/14/07): Today's Miami Herald headline: Fired transsexual won't sue Largo.
Pussy.

UpDate (8/28/08): Steve divorces from his wife of 18-years and must pay her $4,756 a month in alimony plus another $799 in child support for their 15-year-old-very-confused-son. Steve has not been able to find a new job since being fired. The support payments will come from Steve's retirement fund. The ex will also receive 50 percent of any money from movies or books re Steve's life.

UpDate (4/9/09): Steve, now Susan, has been hired by the City of Lake Worth as its manager. A contract still has to be negotiated, but the city is offering Susan and annual salary of $150,000 plus a $500-a-month car allowance and other benefits.

MVB Exclusive: Miami's Three Amigos of Larceny Land Movie Deal!

MVB has learned that Miami's three amigos of larceny have scored a movie deal with a major Hollywood studio. Tentatively titled "Three Amigos Do Miami," Oscar Rivero, Raul Masvidal, and Reynaldo Diaz will portray themselves in a re-imagined version of the original 1986 movie starring Steve Martin, Chevy Chase, and Martin Short.

Following is a short synopsis of the "treatment" for the proposed movie given to us by our contact at the studio on the condition that the studio remain anonymous.

The movie appears to be conceived as a series of hilarious flashbacks of the three main characters as they sit in jail in their mariachi costumes while talking to the camera in an attempt to explain their actions. All three, of course, have a different take on their arrests for defrauding the people of Dade County.

Oscar Rivero, who took $3 million from the county to build public housing with nothing to show for it except a 11,000 s.f. mansion he was building for his wife and himself, swears, while holding his sombrero solemnly over his heart, that the mansion was really a "country club for the homeless." What a card.

Raul Masvidal, a one-time pillar of the community and one-time owner of two failed local banks who lost a bid in 1985 to become mayor of Miami, begins his story in jail reminiscing about a better time when he was a watermelon farmer in Puerto Rico. He blames his failure to build Dade County's $3.2 million Housing Agency headquarters on the county's bureaucracy and his jones for watermelons.

"I can't help it," he says in the script, "I got watermelons on the brain. Teacups too."

This is of course a Mad Hatter reference to him buying two monumental sculptures from his boyhood friend and acclaimed artist Julio Larraz at the public's expense. His infamous $287,000 purchase of the painted bronze stacked teacup sculpture officially known as "Space Station," was supposed to grace the grounds of the Housing Agency headquarters he never built. For the last two years it has resided, like other monumental pieces of county public art, in storage. When county auditors found an exact replica by the same artist could be had for $150,000, they started digging deeper and discovered that Masvidal had slipped in the cost of a giant Larraz watermelon sculpture called "Mars" by getting an art dealer to write a fake invoice listing only the stacked teacups.

Further digging by the county revealed that not only did he spend public dollars on art, he siphoned off millions of dollars in public funds to cover a $355,000 payment on a personal home loan and management fees for the unfinished project.

"Maybe if banks had leant me money," Masvidal's character remarks, "things would have been different. Maybe I wouldn't have had to punch out Larraz, that ungrateful putz who calls himself an artist."

A plot twist reveals Larraz had loaned Masvidal a "lot of money" and when Masvidal couldn't come to terms in settling the debt, he started beating up his old friend in frustration. Larraz filed a police report and Masvidal was arrested on battery charges the next day.

The treatment for the screenplay states that there will be a "dream sequence" where Masvidal will do a mincing song and dance number in his back yard around "Mars," exhorting the virtues of "watermelons, teacups, and public dollars."

As for Reynaldo Diaz, he's portrayed as a double-dealing expediter who can tap dance while an "unwashed gang of pistoleros calling themselves the 'Fanny Mae Brothers' fire their weapons at his boots to see him dance for their amusement." It seems Diaz ripped off the Fanny Mae Brothers who loaned him money on land he never owned. When they discover he was in cahoots with Rivero on another financing scam, the movie rapidly devolves into a major shootout with lots of cartoonish death scenes for the Fanny Mae Brothers.

The final scene shows the Three Amigos strumming guitars and singing about the American Dream in Spanish as they walk among thousands of back slapping fans and body groping molesters during the Calle Ocho Festival toward a stunning, fiery sunset.

A note from the publisher: The boys of MVB are split over the depiction of the main characters in this comedy. While we all agree Rivero and Diaz were in it for the money at the public's expense, Masvidal's character is more difficult to dismiss for some of us. We hold a begruding admiration for him because he is a visionary and an art lover. Unlike most developers, this guy put up his own personal fortune to guarantee a $20.5 million construction loan to build Hometown Station, the project that included the Housing H.Q. And, knowing the lethargic pace at which a bureaucracy performs, maybe he's right about Dade County being partially responsible for the failure of the project because of undue delays. Perhaps one of the things learned here is never ever put up your own money when partnering with government. And then there's the behind-the-scenes bureaucrat who never appeared in the script. Rene Rodriguez, the former director of the Housing Agency, now retired, played willy-nilly with the rules including overriding one which stated that loans could only be distributed to developers once construction had started. His ordering the agency to advance more than $5 million to the Three Amigos effectively removed the county's fail-safe protocols which created a no-win situation for all parties. Finally, it's too bad Masvidal tried to slip a $150,000 partially eaten, giant slice of watermelon past us, but we do like his taste in art. We think the teacups and giant fruit are pretty cool and would like to see them rescued from storage and put on display around downtown Miami, perhaps near Government Center where our bureaucrats and politicians can see them and be reminded that you can never get away with ripping off the public because, inevitably, you will get caught. Of course, whether or not you do any jail time remains to be seen. I guess we'll just have to wait to see the movie.

UpDate (9/1/08): Mars, that $150,000 21-foot slice of bronze watermelon by famed artist Julio Larraz, is sold at auction for...$100. Arizona Federal, who loaned money to Masvidal, forced the auction and was the only bidder. We can only hope the fruit's new owner will donate the piece to the county so that it can be placed in the lobby of our Government Center as a reminder to bureaucrats and politicians alike that there is a price to pay for dining at the public trough. Well, financially it might just be a slap on the hand, but your name will long live in ignominy for any appetite for getting rich off the sweat of the common man.

UpDate (5/24/2014): A Miami-Dade judge dismisses fraud and theft charges against Masvidal on the grounds that the statue of limitations had run out and that the disputed money didn't actually belong to the county. The judge agreed with Masvidal's lawyers that the "ownership of the money" was flawed and that "the matter was a civil dispute that did not belong before a criminal court judge." Prosecutors are considering an appeal.

"Who's Behind Barreiro's Door?" Redux

Miami Dade County commissioner Bruno Barreiro is up to his old tricks again. Earlier this year, he was found conducting a meeting with some commissioners behind closed doors strategizing how to fight the Strong Mayor proposal at the voting booth. They lost that one. Now he wants the Florida Legislature to alter the state's fabled, sacrosanct "Sunshine Law" established in 1967 which requires meetings on public issues between elected officials to be held in public. His solution to better government: allow any two members of a government commission or council to meet privately if that group is made up of 12 members or more.

Our newly elected governor has a problem with it. "It sounds like a retreat on openness," Governor Crist is quoted in the Miami Herald.

The State Attorney General's office has a problem with it. "The people of the state of Florida felt access to government was so important that they put it in the Constitution," said Associate Deputy Attorney General Simone Marstiller. "There's no better way to hold them (elected officials) accountable."

We will have to wait until April 24th to see if the Miami-Dade County Commission has a problem with it when it comes up for a vote. We predict they won't.

UpDate (4/26/07): The Florida State Legislature quickly shoots down Barreiro's proposal to mess with our "Sunshine Law."

"Sacrificed" not "Wasted"

"Wasted" is our communal Freudian Slip. We know the politically correct term is "sacrificed" but in our heart of hearts we know the true word is "wasted." We don't want to believe it, that thousands of young American men and women are dying and coming home missing arms and legs for a cause and a people not worth fighting for. Barak Obama was the first presidential candidate to make the faux pas. McCain the latest. It just slips out. One way or the other, the truth has always had a way of making itself known. Steve Martin once said "Comedy isn't pretty." Neither is the truth. Perhaps that's why Justice wears a mask.

"Universal Soldier" is Native American Buffy Sainte-Marie's gift to the world. It's the antiwar song. Donovan's YouTube version, while powerful, can't touch Ms. Sainte-Marie's. If you want to hear and see her sing the song, play this video:

Although you'll have to sit through a short introduction you'll be able to hear a voice that will cut through your jaded psychic body armor right to your soul. Oh, yeah, if neither version touches your soul and brings tears to your eyes, you've been listening to rap too long.

Finally, if you haven't signed the petition to end the war on this site, now is as good a time as any.

Miami Dade County Commission: Whittling away your rights one vote at a time

Today the Miami Dade County Commission raised its middle finger to the common man when it voted 5 to 1 to make it more difficult for them to petition their government-- especially if the petition is trying to remove a commissioner from office. Sponsored by commissioner Jose "Pepe" Diaz, it will require:

1. The circulator to be a registered voter in MDC,
2. An individual who knowingly signs more than 1 petition or attempts to sign another name or fictitious name, shall be deemed to have violated F.S. 104.185 and shall be guilty of a misdemeanor in the 2nd degree)
3. Petition form must have title and text in English, Spanish and Creole

The onus now is put squarely on the shoulders of the private citizen. Their options in choosing a professional company to run a petition campaign have been taken away. There will be no more hiring professional companies outside of the county to run a petition campaign. Although there is nothing wrong with cracking down on those who intentionally sign a petition more than once, it adds a layer of bureaucracy that could drag an unsuspecting well-intentioned citizen into a court room (what's wrong with just throwing multiple signatures out and giving the benefit of the doubt to the lowly citizen? Wouldn't that be much more cost effective than dragging the poor bastard into court?) Finally, the three language requirement is BS. Less is always more when it comes to government-- especially this government.

Icons, Irony, and Giant Freaking Johnsons!

The Miami Herald reports today that we are not the only people with a set of commissioners that give politics a bad name. Seems the Key West commission has turned down $750,000 worth of J. Seward Johnson art because (I'm not making this up) it would take up too much souvenir selling space on the sidewalk.

Maybe for some of those Key West commissioners there's just too many Johnsons being exposed in public. Even though this particular donation is life-sized, family friendly and politically correct (it's called New Friends and depicts five adults and two kids of different ethnicity), the town already has a 22-foot Johnson on display at the Custom House entrance.

The 76-year-old Johnson has sold over $30 million worth of his sculptures all over the world. Museums, cities, and private collectors love and respect his work but he can't give it away to his adopted city for reasons we thought were something only our elected officials could come up with. Described as "feisty", the heir to the Johnson & Johnson pharmaceutical fortune, is my kind kind of guy. After getting canned by an uncle at the family business, Johnson started sculpting. My favorite is called "Unconditional Surrender." At 26-feet, that painted bronze baby would look good on Biscayne Boulevard, maybe at the entrance to the Port of Miami. You can learn more about it through an earlier post found here. And, unlike art critics who may consider his works "hokey," he's no snob when it comes to art. He embraces sculptors across a broad spectrum of style and has established the critically acclaimed Grounds for Sculpture, a museum and sculpture garden that once was part of the New Jersey State Faigrounds, to display their works.

Besides his realist approach, I particularly like his monumental works, a scale I'd like to see brought to Miami. Except for the Botero at One Miami, our city has a dearth of monumental human form public sculpture. I believe that such art acts as subtle reminders of our devine design and that we are worthy of big dreams, as big as the heroic representations of ourselves scattered about our best urban core landscapes. I like to think of them as "Super Sized Fast Food for the Soul." And, although Johnson is a realist scuptor, there's plenty of room in my world for the super sized abstract works of William King and others.

Mr. Johnson has a giant "Icon" series that I'd like to see scattered around downtown. His "Forever Marilyn" is sensual and full of life and would look great straddling Biscayne Boulevard and welcoming drivers to Miami and the Carnival Center. For something a little less expensive, how 'bout a giant Elvis on the Miami Dade County Government Center building facing I-95?

We believe a delegation from the city and the county ought to get down there and suck up to Johnson big time to rescue "New Friends" for ourselves before those Key West commissioners come to their senses. Hell, the man has enough money he could buy our new Bicentennial Park art museum and establish a sculpture garden that breaks out of the museum landscape and runs roughshod through downtown. Of course, that means the art snobs on the museum board would have to come around to considering him worthy. But I'm sure if Terence Riley says it's okay to like the guy, his sychophantic board of directors will too.

In the Herald article, Johnson doesn't let it bother him too much that the city has rejected his free gift and is quoted as saying that part of the reason he moved to Key West was because he loves the city's "dysfunctionality."

Well, hell, Mr. Johnson, if you want "dysfunctionality," you picked the wrong city. We got the Conch Republic beat by a country mile. In fact, we have twice as much dysfunctionality going for us what with two commissions "representing" the county and the city. Of course, we can't guarantee you won't get the same kind of cool reception for your art-- unless, of course one of the "New Friends" happens to be Cuban. Oh, wait a minute. You gotta have at least one black in the group. And God forbid you failed to include a woman. It would help too if at least one of the figures appears to be gay hopefully without resorting to any cliched stereotypes. If you failed in one or more of the above there's still a chance in getting your art accepted: Are any of the "New Friends" handicapped? If so, you've got it made in the shade. Disabilities trump everything. Even the most callous commissioner knows better than to throw a roadblock in front of a wheelchair.

Lincoln Basel
MVB Art Critic

Take The Initiative. Save the Planet Yourself.

UpDate (2/4): MVB is disappointed that the U.S. yesterday refused to join most of the world in becoming a member of a new world-wide environmental watchdog. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that this idea came from France's President Jacques Chirac. In any event, we chose to align ourselves with China and India who may voice their concern over global warming in public but in reality are more concerned with their country's bottom line. As proud Americans, we find this embarrassing-- especially when we are reminded that our country produces about 1/4 of the world's greenhouse gases. As Miamians, we find it dangerous and reckless behavior on the part of our government. If the planet continues to grow hotter, Miami will be one of the first cities to face a catastrophic rise in ocean levels within 50-years. That prediction of a rise of 2 to 3 feet of sea level will basically inundate south Florida. The U.S. is already a decade behind the rest of the world when it refused to sign the 1997 Kyoto Protocol that acknowledged greenhouse gases were harmful to the environment and set targets to reduce those emissions. We pride ourselves for being a leader among countries-- especially when it comes to forcing democracy down the throats of people who don't have a clue what to do with it. But when it comes to thinking about the "bigger picture," we become myopic and selfish. Then the double-edged sword of irony steps in with a cosmic bitch swipe. Despite all the signs beginning in the seventies, Detroit continued to make behemoth gas guzzlers. Now it can't give them away. Ford is in deep shit with inventory up the yin yang. Of course, part of the problem is us. We need that big motherfuckin' Lincoln Navigator. The negative assumptions of conspicuous consumption are lost on us. Now we've got it and can't afford to drive it because of the long south Florida commutes we make to and from work every day don't sit well with the rising costs of gasoline. The sad part is that as south Floridians we probably are no more or less typical earthlings caught up in a rat race with a predatory nature for "things" and, by God, we're going to have them no matter what it costs the planet. Unfortunately, because of where we live, we may be the first in line to pay for our sins against Mother Nature. Maybe in the end, we deserve to have the Atlantic in our living rooms.

Miami Dade College Confessional

Verticus S. Erectus (VSE): Forgive me father, for I have sinned.
Padre Padron(PP): Who hasn't?
VSE: What?
PP: Call me Padre. Continue, my son.
VSE: Well, I have unclean thoughts about you.
PP (choking): What?
VSE: I think you're obscenely over paid as the president of Miami Dade College. You make almost $900,000.00 a year and--
PP: And I earn every penny of it.
VSE: That procedural retirement BS you pulled last year to take an additional $900,000 from taxpayers only to be rehired by the college is embarrassing.
PP: Hey, it's perfectly legal. Get over it.
VSE: I wish I could, padre, but I attended an open house last night on your venerable North Campus, of which I proudly proclaim to be an alumnus, and saw first hand how overworked and underpaid staffers are busting their asses while you throw outrageously expensive parties at taxpayers expense--
PP: Hey, it's called "fundraising."
VSE: You've got catering bills chronicling 8-hours of revelry.
PP: I like to party.
VSE: You drive around in a Porsche Boxster paid for by the people of Florida.
PP: Ain't life grand? You're not envious are you? You know that's one of the seven deadly sins or something.
VSE: Last night, I sat in on a FAQ for incoming international students. They got more hoops to jump through than a Muslim at an airport checkpoint. Although the staff was accommodating and professional, there are not enough to handle the job. Phone calls and emails are rarely returned. If they had a few extra hands, maybe that department might become more efficient.
PP: Look, could ya speed it up? I got a party to catch at Mansion.
VSE: Maybe you could see fit to give up some of your salary to fund some extra help in that department.
(Silence)
VSE: Padre Padron?
(VSE is greeted with the well-tuned legendary sound of the Boxster as it revs up before slip-sliding across the hard-packed beach sand. VSE hears PP shouting back)
PP: Say five "Hail Marys" and kiss my ass!

Another Mojito Moment or Recent Reasons Why We Drink In Miami (introducing Bad News Boy)

Miami Vision Blogarama (MVB): You're saying the new nearly HALF BILLION DOLLAR Carnival Center for the Performing Arts, already ONE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS over budget, fell short by nearly ONE MILLION DOLLARS in projected earnings since it opened in October?

Bad News Boy (BNB): Yes.

MVB: (SLURP)

MVB: You're saying the County wants to spend 1.2 BILLION DOLLARS on a truck tunnel connecting Watson Island to the Port of Miami?

BNB: Si. (He's bilingual)

MVB: (SLURP)

MVB: You're saying the 6.2 BILLION DOLLAR airport construction project is years behind schedule and already ONE BILLION DOLLARS over budget?

BNB: Wi. (Excuse us, he appears to be trilingual)

MVB: (SLURP)

MVB: You're saying Commissioner Barreiro is now the new Commission Chairman?

BNB: Sim. (Fvck it! The little bastard is multi-lingual)

MVB: (SLURP)

MVB: You're saying Commissioner Seijas is now in charge of the environment?

BNB: Yes. Si. Wi. Sim.

MVB: (SLURP, CHOKE, COUGH, SNORT)

UpDate (12/13/08): Christmas comes early with the announcement that the tunnel project succumbs to a well-deserved death when the state and Bouygues Travaux Publics can't agree on terms. Hurray!

Good Luck, Manatees!

This is a "heads up"-- or maybe it should be a "heads down!" to all manatees reading this blog. Through some slick maneuvering of a rule that keeps commissioners from chairing the same committee for more than two consecutive years, your nemesis Commissioner Natacha "I want my water-- and apparently yours too" Seijas is back chairing the committee that supposedly looks out for you. And "look out" are the operative words here, my corpulent aquatic vegetarian. Of course you know she is famous for dissing your kind wondering out loud on the dais why you're even necessary. So, you may be asking, how did she circumvent the rules? Just change the name of the committee. Once it was known as "Land Use and Infrastructure Committee." Now it's called the "Governmental Operations and Environment Committee." So be careful my obese friend because for some reason she has it in for you. Maybe it had something to do with an unhappy childhood encounter with one of your kind while swimming in the canal behind her house. Who knows? Who can explain how the Seijas mind works. Just remember this: You might be cute to some, but for others like Seijas they believe, to paraphrase Randy Newman, short people and manatees got no business living.