Roxcy, Pickup Trucks and Coral Gables, the City Anal

Reading today's Miami Herald story about two brother lawyers taking on and winning a battle against the City of Coral Gables over the right to park their pick up truck in the "City Beautiful" got us to thinking about the late Roxcy Bolton. Ms. Bolton was the one-woman dynamo who, among other things, got hurricanes named after men too, instead of just women. But she couldn't convince Coral Gables back in the 70's to cut her some slack regarding parking her pickup truck at her home. So, when we read brothers Lowell and Spencer Kuvin were able to persuade a Third District Court of Appeal judge to rule the city's statute was unconstitutional, we couldn't help but think Roxcy was finally getting the last laugh. Senior Judge Alan Schwartz paraphrased a Pete Seeger song in his written opinion:

"Perhaps Coral Gables can require that all its houses be made of ticky-tacky and that they all look just the same, but it cannot mandate that its people are, or do. Our nation and way of life are based on a treasured diversity, but Coral Gables punishes it."

Ouch.

For those who have never heard of Pete Seeger or his song and for those who would like to hear it again, please click the button, mix up a mojito and offer up a toast to the brothers Kuvin, the Judge and Roxcy!

Sir Manny Mojito, King of Little H, and the Knights of the Mesa Redondo say Farewell to Elita Loresca

It had been awhile since Sir Manny Mojito, King of Little H, and the Knights of the Mesa Redondo had seen Elita Loresca's disembodied impossibly large and perfect breasts. The last time was under the MacArthur Causeway bridge where they urged the boys in equally perfect stereophonic balance to take up the quest to rescue her from the Temple of the Storm Goddess, aka WSVN-Fox's Channel 7 studios. Seems management wouldn't release her from her contract. The on-air confrontation with the weather temptress landed everyone in jail where they stayed for many weeks until Verticvs Erectus, publisher of MVB, was able to raise enough money to bail them out. That weather report, thanks to YouTube, soon became one of the most viewed and most discussed videos of all time and within days, Sir Manny and the boys became known as world-class fuck-ups world-wide. Because of their shame, a vestigial personality trait rarely seen in south Florida, they elected to remain secluded in MVB's cramped offices where they sought forgiveness by praying incessantly to a make-shift altar dedicated to Ms. Loresca, Goddess of the Storm. This was also their penance because they believed that as long as they prayed to Ms. Loresca, hurricanes would be averted from south Florida. So far, no one could argue with them over that. Not even Max Mayfield, the weather swami at WSVN's rival station WPLG-ABC. And so the boys kept praying, day and night, hoping for forgiveness and a chance to regain their honor by praying away all shape and size of hurricanes.

And then the heavenly habahabas appeared.

King Manny saw them first as he kneeled and prayed in front of the altar. He heard the Storm Goddess' voice and, still in a trance, opened his eyes. They were hovering over the Bank of America building. The building had been lit up in green lights and there, floating at the top, were Ms. Loresca's impossibly large and perfect breasts.

"I must go," they said in a hushed and throaty voice, undulating slowly from side to side.

"Why?" King Manny asked.

"I am needed elsewhere," they replied. "I must save California from...everything."

"Everything?"

"Everything."

"Even Rosie O'Donnell?"

"Almost everything."

"Can I come along?"

"Me too!" Sir Belvedere cried.

"And me!"

"Me too!"

All the Knights of the Mesa Redondo wanted to go with her and, despite their devotion, I am sorry to report some even tried to cop a feel.

"I wish you could join me," the shimmering love globes replied. "But you have a more important job to do. You must continue to pray to my very sexy picture on your altar. Only your devotion will keep hurricanes away. Can you do that?"

"Yes!" they shouted. "For you, anything!"

"Good," the marvelous mammararies mumbled. "With your devotion on the east coast and the prayers of my followers on the west coast-- and they are legion-- just maybe America and all it stands for will be saved from the ravages of the...Storm Goddess!"

At that point, thunder sounded off in the distance.

"I'm gonna miss you, Goddess of the Storm," King Manny choked.

"Call me Elita, good King Manny Mojito. And remember this, boys, I'm only a thought away-- especially if you close your eyes and rub real hard-- I mean think real hard."

"I'm already real hard," Sir Belvedere replied.

"Me too!"

"That's your broadsword, you big dummy!"

"Whoe, I guess that explains all the fookin' blood!"

"Oh," the goombahs gushed, "you are such bad boys. I love you all."

Someone, maybe more than one, started crying.

"Now don't cry. Remember when you were lost in the Redlands Forest looking for someone with a sense of humor?" the magic magumbos asked.

"Yes. And we were never able to find one. What a bummer."

"But things got better anyway, didn't they?"

"Well, yes," King Manny replied sheepishly, "especially after meeting your magnificent maracas under the bridge."

"And they will again," the tits teetered. "Just remember to look on the bright side of life and that will get you out of any forest of gloom and doom. In fact, I have a song I want you to sing and sing it you shall, in remembrance of me. When you awake from your trance, you will begin to sing as a chorus, a choir if you will. Some of you will even tap dance as you sing. In time, when things get you down, this song and dance number will set you right with the world. Now, until we meet again, sing....sing this song..."

And they did:

UpDate (8/23): Today's Herald announced Rosie O'Donnell is coming to town November 4th for the Miami Book Fair. She will be promoting her book Celebrity Detox. Sir Manny Mojito and the boys did not take this well and began taking turns self-flagellating with a cat-of-nine-tales while circling in front of the Goddess of the Storm makeshift shrine. Please note that no knights were hurt during the above incident because they were protected by their chainmail and thick linen cloaks. Although they may be prone to acting out, they do steer away from self-mutilation which is something to be thankful for considering these are grown men walking around in the hot Miami summer in suits of armor.

MVB Big Idea Award Goes to Dr. Bernd Wollschlaeger!

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Once upon a time before government got intertwined with our everyday lives, before Medicare, even before health insurance, there was a time when people actually paid doctors for medical care with...cash. Yes, we know, "What kind of cannabis are you smoking?" you may ask but it is true. Recently the Miami Herald revealed that there exists in our community a doctor who not only won't accept insurance-- not even Medicare-- but who runs his practice on a cash-only basis. His name is Dr. Bernd Wollschlaeger and he is the latest recipient for MVB's "Big Idea Award."

His story, captioned by the Herald as "The Maverick MD," is our kind of guy. He's a visionary who marches to the beat of a different drummer and because of that is forcing other doctors to rethink their partnership with the bloated healthcare industry. Considered a "progressive maverick," Dr. Wollschlager supports universal healthcare and the movement to all-electronic medical records.

By adopting MVB's "less is more" approach to most things in general, he has been able to make medical care affordable to everyone. Instead of paying staff to help run his office-- including bookkeepers to handle the deluge of paperwork required by Medicare-- he basically-- thanks to the computer-- runs his office by himself. Appointments and follow-up questions are made online with waiting in the office no more than 5 or 10 minutes. Office visits range between $65 and $75.

For more information or to book an appointment, please click here.

Regarding the traditional awards ceremony at Churchill's Pub in Little Haiti, many of you will again be happy to learn that our official award giver Bob Enzyte was able to complete the entire function without once dropping his pants. Perhaps that had something to do with Dr. Wollschlaeger. Bob could be seen conferring with the good doctor during the dinner proceeding the presentation of the coveted award. We noticed that he more than once stopped Bob from trying to remove his pants. Perhaps he was able to convince Bob to forsake self-medication or at least recommend a shrink who can help him. Only time will tell.

Erectvs Kids Return From Everest Expedition

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Verticvs S. Erectvs, publisher of MVB, is happy to report that his kids are returning safely from a summer sojourn in the Far East. They combined learning and travel with the apex of their adventure taking place 17,000 feet above us at the Everest base camp. Daughter returns to UF to continue her studies in Literature and History while son graduates and goes to London to work on his masters in conflict resolution at the University of Westminster. Welcome back, kids! You've sure done a lot with your lives in a very short time. Keep it up!

MVB's Big Idea to Curb Illegal Immigration & Reduce the Cost of Living: Bring back the Chain Gang

Not very PC of us, but it seems to make a lot of sense: Put the nearly 90,000 Florida prisoners to work in the fields harvesting our crops. Farmers won't have to fear penalties for hiring undocumented aliens and will save money on the harvest-- passing along the savings to the consumer. Once word gets out to the third world that you can't get jobs in Florida because the state's prisoners have pretty much taken them, the problems faced with undocumented aliens will diminish-- and if they don't, at least the cost of living will fall. To make it fall even further: dissolve the FDOT maintenance division and get prisoners to do the job (like they once use to).

Yes, we know these are not revolutionary ideas and that it's been done before (and suspect it disappeared over time because of political correctness and economics) but times have changed. If putting prisoners to work in our fields and roads will reduce the cost of living in Florida, we say go for it.

By the way, the Florida Department of Corrections has a great website and we encourage you to check it out. We found it informative and entertaining. Among other things, you will learn that it costs Florida taxpayers $52.06 a day to house and feed an inmate (or $1.7 billion a year for all of them). Under FAQ's it has a "Death Row Roster" which lists names, crimes, etc. As of July 30th, Florida has 381 men (no women) on death row. Angel Diaz was the last one executed (12/13/06) after spending nearly 21-years on death row. Aileen Wuornos, was the last woman executed (10/9/02). Her movie Monster starring Charlize Theron came out the following year. You can also plug in and keep track of prisoners which is a pretty neat tool-- especially if you are a victim of a crime. From experience, we know that you can never assume after sentencing a prisoner actually goes to jail. Verticvs' ex was mugged at the front door of their home near Aventura. The mugger was later arrested and sentenced on another crime. They assumed he went to jail. Years later, they decided to check up on the bad boy from Bunch Park. As it turned out, he never showed up to go to jail and was basically "at large" which was alarming since he had left a threatening message on their answering machine before his trial.

Happy Birthday, America!

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To paraphrase Steve Martin's Czech brother character from an old SNL sketch, "America is a wild and crazy place." Too bad the humorless want to do us harm. A country like ours deserves its rightful place at the top of the pecking order if only because we can laugh at just about everything including ourselves.

The 4th of July makes me think about how far we've come in the last 20-years alone at lightening up. Back in 1980 I was placing advertising for Superman II in Miami and Ft. Lauderdale. The studio wanted to run a special 4th of July ad that showed Christopher Reeve carrying a flag pole with Old Glory waving in the breeze. The Sun-Sentinel didn't have a problem with it. The Miami Herald did. After submitting the ad we were told that the flag had to go, that the paper had a policy about using the American flag in any advertising. Past deadline, there was nothing we could do about it so the paper excised the offending flag and ran the ad like this:

I'm sure it made thousands more want to buy tickets because as you and I know, there's nothing more exciting than a man with a big stick.

Now, after all these years, good or bad, the flag is used to sell just about everything in the Miami Herald.

You gotta laugh.

God bless America!

Are Miami-Dade Transit Busses...Possessed?

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MVB has noticed an alarming increase in runaway busses over the past three months. The first one on February 10th inspired the Lost: Miami post. That bus took out an apartment building because its brakes had failed.* A week later, another bus plowed into a van on Krome Ave. Two days ago, one ran into a church.

Coincidence? We think not. Miami has long been noted as a hotbed for voodoo and Santeria activity. Spells are cast willy-nilly every day around here and we suspect one was cast at Miami-Dade Transit. Maybe a bus arrived late once too often and finally sent someone over the edge. Maybe deposed transit director Roosevelt Bradley wants his job back so badly he's gone voodoo on us. Who knows? But if you value your life, heed our warning: if you see one coming just start running.

*Play the news video. It proves, to paraphrase Dave Barry, we're not making this up. Also, you'll get to meet a neat little kid with a great vocabulary describing the accident. For fans of Lost, you'll also catch some weird parallels with the series like the pregnant woman on the bus and the old couple. Was the man possibly a retired...dentist? And just who was that stranger the bus driver picked up minutes before it crashed? Now insert your own impression of Dr. Evil's maniacal laugh.

Verticvs Is Happicvs He Can Talk To And See His Kids In Chinacvs (and also the guy downstairs)!

I feel like dancing in Bicentennial Park with my dog Snoopycvs and singing "It's A Wonderful World" because of what technology has wrought. Specifically, Skype, the free Internet videophone for your computer. Being able to talk to and see your UF kids studying abroad in China is pretty cool. It makes emails look archaic. Sure, the image might be a tad slow but considering it's all freaking free, who can complain. Yes, Louie, it is a "wonderful world."

Dancing The Conga Around The Miami Marine Stadium Question

It's been over 10 days since we asked a Miami city commissioner these simple questions: If engineering reports come back that the Miami Marine Stadium is salvageable, would you vote to save it? and, Would you be open to having a major company such as Budweiser pay all or part of the restoration costs in exchange for naming rights, i.e., the Budweiser Miami Marine Stadium?

The commissioner, whose district includes the Marine Stadium, danced around the question with a lame response from staff: "Until the Virginia Key master plan is complete, the fate of the Marine Stadium remains in limbo."

What's wrong with saying in advance you would vote to save the Marine Stadium if it proves salvageable? Or that you would be open to searching for a private company to pay for the restoration in exchange for naming rights? We're still waiting for a more forthright answer.

Another source says planners are "considering reusing/redesigning the Marine Stadium as an entry way building for Biscayne National Park."

Say what? We asked for clarification and never got it. MVB would like to think that means incorporating the Marine Stadium into future plans which allows the stadium to continue to do what it was built to do: provide a covered viewing stand to watch boat races-- and to listen to concerts. Finally, our city planners and non-communicative city commissioner should be reminded that the Marine Stadium has been recognized by the Miami Chapter of the American Institute of Architects and the Dade Heritage Trust for its architectural and historical value so, keepa your hands off!

The Virginia Key Public Planning Coalition will be holding a luncheon next Tuesday "to bring some sane planning to the marine Stadium area." The meeting is open to the public and starts at Noon at the Sierra Club, 2700 SW 3rd Ave, Suite 2F. If planning on attending, call first just to make sure it's still on at (305) 860-9888.

UpDate (4/24/2007): There was no meeting. We called first to find out and hopefully you did too.

On the same website above, click here to see an eye-opening and damning video about the Marine Stadium made by high school kids from Turner Tech. Hopefully their efforts and the emails from fans of the Marine Stadium from around the world* won't fall on deaf ears and that the old scarred and disfigured grand dame will be rescued from an ignoble fate.

*MVB knows for a fact through our Site Meter that many people emailed the mayor and commissioners because of the "out clicks" to the email addies we provided. After notifying the main boat racing organizations-- with special thanks going out to Taryn Baze of the American Boat Racing Association in Pasco, WA, David D. Williams of the Hydroplane and Raceboat Museum in Kent, WA, and award-winning boat racing photographer and writer Bill Osborne for getting the word out through emails to their members and friends urging them to check out our postings and to let their voices be heard and taking the time to write personal letters to mayor Manny Diaz-- we were swamped with hits from as far away as Australia and, three weeks later, we're still getting hits with out clicks to the City of Miami mayor and commissioner email links.

UpDate (8/27/08): The "experts," AKA city planners/consultants, came back with the latest designs for Virginia Key. Despite an earlier charette where the public overwhelmingly agreed that the Marine Stadium should be saved, it is glaringly absent from this latest iteration. In its place: Two 5-story parking garages, a "dry-stack" boat storage for 700 boats, 41,000sf of "small scale retail," and Olympic-sized swimming pools among other sundry items. The city and its experts have effectively destroyed one of the few things that makes Miami unique in the world and replaced it with the pedestrian. The Marine Stadium was the only one of its kind on the planet. Now, because it might be "cost prohibitive" to fix-up, we have become a lesser city, less unique, and a people less worthy of being taken seriously, at being looked upon by others as blessed, lucky, special and cool.

UpDate (9/19/08): Friends of the Miami Marine Stadium pulled off a major coup: they got the World Monuments Fund to endorse saving the Marine Stadium. This couldn't have happened at a better time because The City of Miami Historic and Environmental Preservation Board will discuss and possibly make a determination of the final historic designation of the Miami Marine Stadium at their meeting on Tuesday, October 7, at 3:00 PM, City of Miami Commission Chambers. Failure to do so should make them look like idiots-- or at least suspiciously on the take. If you got the time, try to stop by to make your voice heard.

UpDate (10/7/08): The City of Miami historic preservation board finally saw the light: by a vote of 8-0, it agreed to designate the Miami Marine Stadium worthy of preservation as an historic site. Let's see the visionless try to knock it down now!

"A Few Dead Kids Is Just The Price We Pay..."

MVB Big Idea Award Goes To Jorge Gonzalez & Richard Steinberg!

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We believe in the power of the "Ether-Net," getting ideas "out there" through the Internet. MVB is basically built around that concept of actively using the Internet as an electronic gadfly to lobby ideas and opinions. Positive feedback on these efforts happen when we see MLB insisting on a downtown Miami baseball stadium (hopefully our chosen site) and now through a little tidbit found deep inside today's Miami Herald's Business Monday section. Miami Beach City Manager Jorge Gonzalez suggested to a meeting of the Miami Beach Chamber of Commerce that the city put the $55 million set aside by a county bond fund to refurbish the Convention Center toward subsidizing building a new hotel instead. This "Big Idea" was "ridiculed by tourism trade groups backing the renovations." The next day at a City Hall meeting, Commissioner Richard Steinberg backed Gonzalez up and "warned against dismissing it so quickly."

The article reminds us that the Loews and Royal Palm hotels were built on public oceanfront and with government loans. So the idea isn't that revolutionary, but it does remind us of our own Big Idea-- getting Disney to build a hotel or hotels on the beach and the mainland in exchange for public land, a port on Watson Island for their cruise ships, and a Disney partnered BayLink. Disney is currently looking to build "stand alone" hotels. With the right inducements from a handful of visionaries (and $55 million isn't something to sneeze at), perhaps someday we'll see Disney hotels anchoring both ends of a Disney BayLink. The Mouse gets what it wants and the people of Dade County get what they need. Of course the biggest hurdle here is getting enough elected officials from the Beach to embrace the Disney BayLink to make it reality, but every big idea has to start somewhere.

For those wondering about Bob Enzyte, MVB's official award giver, please note that Bob officiated at the ceremony at Churchill's Pub in Little Haiti in a black Speedo, socks, and shoes. At first we were leery about letting him attend the ceremony like that until he explained it was a symbolic gesture toward honoring "those Beachites." Yes, it wasn't the prettiest thing to see and, yes, he silenced all background chatter at Churchill's when he rose to speak at the dais, but it sure beats the alternative and more jail time.

It's Time To Stop...

Leave it to the Russkies to make you feel old. Yesterday a thousand baton wielding cops and God-knows-how-many undercover cops beat back a peaceful demonstration in Pushkin Square. For those who haven't been paying attention, it seems a lot of Russians are pissed off with Putin, accusing him and his government of rolling back their freedoms. Garry Kasparov, the former world chess champion was detained for a short while. It all got me to thinking about that great Buffalo Springfield song (which I hope you're listening to while reading this). It's called "For What It's Worth." Wikipedia reminded me it came out in January 1967. Over 40 years ago. Stephen Stills is singing. Buffalo Springfield was the band he formed before Crosby, Stills, Nash, (and sometimes Young). Neil Young and Jim Messina (later of Loggins & Messina) were members of Buffalo Springfield. That was a magical time for rock music and this song captured the general paranoia young people had during that period. It added a foreboding counterpoint to that year's Summer of Love, the last great blowout before America's downward slide through two assassinations and the dark years of the Viet Nam war. Demographics on bloggers show most of you weren't born yet but that doesn't mean you can't appreciate the Russkies for resurrecting that great old street anthem which I'm sure, by the way things are going, you'll be hearing a lot more of. The picture is from November 2003. It shows our cops protecting us from folks against the FTAA, something MVB is for. It's our feeble attempt at making our posts relevant to Miami and the Beaches. I bet those Miami and Russkie protesters were listening to that great lyric, "there's a man with a gun over there, telling me I got to beware..." through ear buds connected to their iPods. Except for technology, some things never change.

UpDate (12/3): Putin pummels Kasparov and democracy at the polls as Russia overwhelmingly hands him the power to become anything he wants. We bet he chooses dictator.

MVB's Big Idea Award Goes To Shaya Boymelgreen for Re-Imagining Soleil for Workforce Housing

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MVB proudly presented Shaya Boymelgreen with our Big Idea Award last night at Churchill's Pub in Little Haiti. Although this award could have been presented for any number of worthy local projects his company brought to Miami, we felt his most important contribution was his recent re-imagining of the Soleil* condo project to accommodate workforce housing, something our area is sorely lacking.

Located at 3100 Biscayne Boulevard, Boymelgreen is splitting the formerly 288-unit, 43-floor project into two towers, one for middle-income owners and the other for the originally targeted wealthy buyers. Prices will start at $200,000.

Other MVB Big Idea Awards have been given to Jorge Perez, Carlisle Development Group and Carrfour Supportive Housing, and Bruce Rubin.

By the way, for all of those who are wondering about Bob and his continuing struggle to overcome self-medication, we are happy to report that Bob again managed to keep his pants on during the entire award ceremony.

*This website has a way-cool 3D animation that begins with a circling aerial of Miami before landing on Biscayne Boulevard for a pedal-to-the-metal thrill ride up the boulevard to the project.

UpDate (4/14/07): Today's Miami Herald says "Developer Shaya Boymelgreen is going it alone in Miami." Leviev Boymelgreen is no more. Boymelgreen's partner dosen't see Miami's potential. Boymelgreen does and is taking over the Miami projects. He is so worthy of the MVB Big Idea Award.

University of Florida: America's University of the Century!

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It took over a hundered years, but the University of Florida Gators tonight did something no other college team has ever done before. Tonight it became the first NCAA school to own back-to-back national championships in basketball and football in the same year. That's something all Floridians can be proud about. The Gators did it by beating Ohio State 84 to 75. Kudos to the "Gator Boys," the starting five who agreed to stay together as a team for one more year last season instead of jumping to the NBA. Selflessness, what a concept! So rare in today's sports. And so well-rewarded.

Some stats on the team and the school:

• No team has won back-to-back titles with the same starting lineup. Until tonight.
• No college basketball team has won back-to-back titles since Duke in 1992.
• Florida won its first national championship in 1968, in men's golf. Since then, the Gators have won national titles in women's swimming, gymnastics, women's golf, women's track, women's tennis, football, soccer, and basketball.
• The University of Florida has the highest admission standards in the state. The average SAT score is 1400. That was the requirement for the Honors Program just a few years ago.
• 25,000 apply for fewer than 7,000 openings each year.
• My kids go there! Ye-haw!

Way to go Gator Nation!

Girl From Calle Ocho

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It's MVB's contention that had Antonio Carlos Jobim and Vinicius de Moraes (who wrote the original Portuguese lyrics to "The Girl From Ipanema") been sitting at a sidewalk cafe along Miami's Calle Ocho instead of one along the Copacabana in Rio, the song might have been a little different.

Mea Culpa: Yes, this posting and the previous one are sophomoric and show arrested development on the part of the men behind MVB and we apologize for our shortcomings. We could tell you that they are merely exercises in creativity but that would probably be a lie. We know we are shallow men who need counseling, our ex-wives and girlfriends have told us so, so don't bother posting a comment to tell us something we already know. Or to make us feel bad about ourselves. We already do. Self-loathing runs amok at MVB.

And the Bob Enzyte Big Idea Award Goes To The Carlisle Development Group and Carrfour Supportive Housing!

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Last night the Carlisle Development Group and Carrfour Supportive Housing received MVB's most prestigious award for their innovative solutions to building and managing affordable housing. Its most recent endeavor will create lodging for the homeless and bring affordable housing to downtown Miami. The groups will transform the 80-year-old Royalton Hotel at 131 SE First Street into 100 apartments for people making less than $22,740 a year. 80 apartments will be reserved for those who were homeless. The groups bought the hotel for $3.5 million and the county and state arranged $15.8 million in financing. The fact that they even bothered to attempt to wade through the county and state's bureaucratic maze is worth an award in itself. That they have been successfully doing this for years is amazing. So, it's with a great big "Tip of Our Backward Wearing Kangols" that we happily salute them with a wish that there were more companies like them.


As an aside for those two readers wondering about Bob's attempt to stop self-medicating well, we are happy to report that during last night's award ceremony at Churchill's Pub in Little Haiti, Bob was able to keep his pants on throughout the entire affair. Things seem to be looking up for him...well, maybe not everything is looking up like it use to, but at least Bobby is keeping his pants on and for all of us here at MVB, that's something to be thankful for.

Previous MVB Big Idea Awards: Shaya Boymelgreen, Jorge Perez, Bob Rubin.

Hey, Mickey! Miami has a deal for you!

Disney announced yesterday that it is considering creating smaller theme parks and stand-alone hotels, retail, dining and entertainment centers. Well, does MVB have a deal for you! In exchange for sharing the cost of building, running, and maintaining a Disney-style monorail connecting Miami with Miami Beach, the county will be happy to lease you public land in both cities to build two hotels, one at both ends of the run.

Plus, the Miami site will allow you exclusive rights to dock your cruise ships. With Miami becoming a port of call, you will be able to offer your passengers a day on trendy SoBe and a night at the opera, the ballet, or a symphony at our new half-billion-dollar performing arts center-- with an ease of transit between everything just like it is at Disney World.

Your proven monorail system will run at grade along MacArthur Causeway saving millions of dollars in construction costs. Rising on both ends, it will run along 5th Street and head north along the beach. On the Miami side, it will loop around the new Carnival Center for the Performing Arts and connect to MetroRail and the MetroMover.

Who knows, by then we may even have a downtown baseball stadium where Disney guests from the hotels or the cruise ship can opt to take in a baseball game-- as well as catch a Miami Heat game or a concert at the American Airlines Arena. Miami is the only city serving cruise ship passengers that can offer these many choices.

So, little mouse dude, is this a great idea or what?

MVB Introduces the Mojito Margarita Mobile Designated Delivery System!

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In a follow-up story in the Miami Herald yesterday regarding the economic effect the Super Bowl had on the local Miami Beach economy, it mentioned that local retail and especially restaurants took a hit because their loyal clientele were afraid of venturing onto the island because of increased traffic. However, the thing that caught our eye was a restauranteur recalling a phone call from a distressed regular who asked if they could deliver a mojito. They couldn't but that got us to thinking...

MVB will soon launch our Mojito Margarita Mobile Designated Delivery System for people stuck at home or short on time, skill, and the ingredients needed to make Hemingway's and MVB's favorite drink plus a wide selection of frozen Margaritas. Currently our '50 Merc lead sled is being retrofitted for a blender and bar in the back seat. The vintage rotating Police beacon is proving to be a little harder to come by, but we shall persevere for this great cause. Drinks will be delivered by teams of two Mojito Margarita girls who will share mixing and driving skills. Employment interviews are scheduled in the near future. MVB is looking for outgoing women who can sing the following ditty to the music (press button below for music) of the Chiquita Banana song while mixing a damn good mojito:

• Hello, Amigos, I'm Mojito Margarita and I've come to say
• Mojitos and Margaritas are a phone call away
• 24/7 at 1-800-M-O-J-I-T-O-S
• We're radio dispatched to your address
• So you never have to make a mess!
• We'll drive so you can drink and drink!
• The cops can't throw you in the clink-a
• When you've got Mojito Margarita
• Now here's your mojito (margarita) and it's time to pay
• For a nice tip I'll shimmy and shout, "¡Oye!
• Muchas gracias, now I'm on my way-ya!"

The Architecture God Has Spoken: Touzet is FUN!!

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Like Eastwood's iconic nameless cowboy, there is a Miami building on the drawing boards with no name too. Equally enigmatic and dangerously charismatic, it's the product of another Miami architectural firm that shoots from the hip disrupting the status quo with dead eye accuracy on art's primo credo: Don't bore me, show me something new, make me see something in a whole new way. Few artists can pull that off. Most are imitative. Few are worthy. The Touzet Studio is one of the worthiest. Designed by the husband and wife team of Jacqueline Gonzalez-Touzet and Carlos Prio-Touzet, the building, located at 111 N.E. 11th Street just south of I-395 and behind the 67-story Marquis now under construction, will have twin towers rising 42 and 38-stories over ground floor retail. Although it may fall in the morning shadows of the giants rising a block east on Biscayne Boulevard, it will never be overshadowed by them because of its whimsical shapes, brave use of color, and daring use of space.

Things I like about it:

• The glass nose cone at the top of the taller building. Very Jetsons. If I were a loser mortal, that'd be my pad.
• The angled five-story pock-marked wall painted with huge leopard spots. Oh, how I love leopard prints and neon (hope it's got that too!) This is a fitting gesture toward its location: Miami's designated nightclub district.
• Huge columns thrown helter-skelter about the base as if by a giant playing with his pick-up sticks-- something I can relate to.
• A sundeck perched precariously over the street that serves as a grotto to collect the waterfall from the infinity pool above.
• Use of materials that will change color and give the building the appearance of motion to those driving by.

Word on the street is that it may even be affordable. Only time will tell. Ah, just thinking about it brings a smile to my face.

*Any excuse to listen to some Morricone is a good enough reason to push the button.

Other posts by A.G.:
It's Okay to Play In The Street,
COR is CUTE!, Gehry Sucks Big Time.

Another Shooting, Another Day In Paradise

As the young bodies keep dropping all around us in Miami because someone was "disrespected" or someone wanted someone's rims or someone's girl or last, but not least, someone's money, check out these stats while listening to this catchy little ditty with a message: "Another Shooting" by Lori Rosolowsky.

• In the last 18 months, 31 young people died from gunfire in Miami.
• In a 2004 study by Sperling's BestPlaces, Miami was singled out as having the highest violent crime rate as well as one of the highest property crime rates.
• In 2003, one kid or teen in the US was shot to death every three hours, nearly 8 every day, 54 a week, nearly 3,000 a year. 4 to 5 times that number survived bullet wounds.
• The number of kids killed by guns in 2003 exceeded the number of American soldiers killed in Iraq for 2003 to April 2006.
• More 10-19 year-olds died from gunshots than from any other cause in the US other than motor vehicle accidents.
• Almost 90% of US kids killed by firearms in 2003 were boys.
• Black kids are most likely to be victims of firearm homicide. In fact, the firearm death rate for Black males ages 15-19 is more than 4 times that of White males in the same age group.

Something ain't right in America. Something ain't right in Miami. The boys here at MVB keep thinking about the ones walking around with bullet wounds: 45,000 since those stats. That's a freaking city's worth of angry young people prone to "acting out." Lots of attitude. Lots of anger. Lots of bragging rights. We think about them "begatting" a new generation in a violent world that is the norm to them. Papa be bad. Papa be dead. Look at me wrong and you be dead too. So much anger and hatred. Where does it all come from? And what, if anything, can be done about it?

These are the kinds of questions that keep us up at night. With a loaded Smith & Wesson by the bedside.