Thursday, February 15, 2007

An MVB Exclusive: "Lost: Miami" is in the pipeline as a new TV series!

MVB, through its secret agents scattered across the world, was able to obtain an exclusive look at a new spin-off TV series tentatively titled “Lost: Miami.” Although this is only a first draft of the teleplay, our readers will be able to get a sneak preview of what appears to be another sure-fire hit for ABC.

"Lost: Miami" Pilot Synopsis:

First off, it seems that this program takes place in a “parallel universe” because characters appear with the same names and, with few exceptions, the same back story as those on the original series.

Instead of an airplane crashing onto a remote island, “Lost: Miami” begins with what is basically an ordinary daily occurrence in Miami: a public bus crashes into a building. All of the original characters are on board. When they stumble out, bloody, bruised, and confused, they quickly learn that the bus brake lines have been cut.

In a flashback, we learn that Jack, reeling from another unpleasant episode with his father, had just stepped out of a bar on Calle Ocho. Tipsy and disheveled, he discovers he can’t find his car keys and flags down a bus (driven by Michael) to get back to work at the hospital (this time he’s a plastic surgeon and the car keys were swiped by his dad at the bar).

Locke is carried out of the bus by Hurley which takes up about ten minutes of the show because Hurley, due to his size and the fact that he is carrying Locke, can't squeeze through the doors. This adds tension as people scream and pile up behind them. Pregnant Claire becomes hysterical. When Hurley finally gets out, he props Locke up against the bus tire (apparently Locke does not regain use of his legs in this series). Locke urges Hurley to go back into the burning bus to find his wheelchair. While waiting, he happens to notice the serial number on the side of the tire and, for some reason, becomes alarmed.

The bus blows up and Locke is hurled across Calle Ocho, slamming his head against the street. As blood rolls out of his ear, there is a cut to another flashback and we learn that Locke was once a male stripper at Chippendales up on Sunny Isles Boulevard, which probably explains the smile on his face as blood rolls across it and drips onto the sewer lid. Following the flashback, Locke regains consciousness and tries to focus on the sewer lid. He can’t believe what he sees: the lid has the same numbers etched around its rim as those found on the side of the bus tire. Hurley’s fate is unknown.

Charlie runs up to Locke to help him out and, in a fleeting glimpse of the sewer lid, we see the Dharma Project BS etched on its surface.

Jack stumbles into a man watching the bus burn from across the street. It’s Henry Gale and he has a sick little smile on a face this time suffering the battle scars of a severe case of teenage acne. Jack asks for help but Henry pretends he doesn’t know any English. Jack pushes him aside and looks for somebody who can speak English. He can’t find anyone as Kate and Sawyer join him. He tells them he is going to find someone who speaks English and they tell him it’s too dangerous and a waste of time. But he insists and Kate convinces a reluctant Sawyer to go with her to help Jack out.

As they stumble through a large hibiscus hedge into someone’s backyard, Kate sees an inflatable swimming pool and unexpectedly decides to strip down to her underwear and go for a swim (someone, possibly the producer, circled the scene with a pencil and scribbled in "gratuitous sex-- keep it up!). This pisses the guys off until they see her in the pool. Before they can join her, they hear voices speaking in Spanish coming from the house. Suddenly, a pit bull races out of the back door toward Kate. Jack, ever the quick thinker, picks up a coconut lying on the ground and throws it at the dog. The dog falls in a bloody heap into the pool next to a cowering Kate. Jack grabs her hand, throws her over his shoulder and races across the yard as Sawyer covers their backs before disappearing behind the hibiscus hedge. When the homeowner throws open the back door and raises a shotgun to fire a load of buckshot at them, we see it’s Ana-Lucia, her detective badge hanging from her Brazilian cut jeans.

Meanwhile, the other survivors have managed to get down to the Miami River where they have constructed a raft made from left over public art projects. The pilot ends as they launch the raft into the river. Michael, Walt, and Sayid are on board while Jack, Kate, and Sawyer are struggling to cut a path through Miami backyards in search of someone who can speak English.

Hand written notes on a proposed next episode should the series get picked up reveals that, what may or may not be a Coast Guard cutter, stops the raft off of Miami Beach on a moonless night. This time everyone is taken on board and the raft is shot out of the water. The notes allude that Michael and Sayid may have been thrown into the Krome Detention Center. Walt's fate is unsure.

UpDate (5/24/07): "Lost: Miami" was inspired by true events-- which keep repeating themselves. The Miami Dade transit bus crash that inspired this post took place on February 10th. The bus driver said his brakes failed. A second one occured February 16th (with a van), and the most recent one happened on May 23rd with a church. The collision with the church leads us to believe that the bus fleet may be possessed and we urge you to seek safety when you see one coming. The reference to left over public art objects can find its origins here.

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