MVB needs your help finding this woman:
Seen last night outside the MVB Lounge on Calle Ocho, we believe she is soley responsible for the MVB Lounge New Year's Eve Incident where the MVB Stand-Up Comic's act was cut short because of an extreme heiney, precipitating an enraged torch bearing mob to destroy the lounge and send our Comic to the hospital. As you can see, she is armed and dangerous. We believe she may be stalking the lounge for another attack.
DO NOT APPROACH HER WITHOUT BACKUP SUPPORT!
Instead, please contact MVB publisher Verticus S. Erectus who is a trained and certified member of the International Gluteus Maximus Society (I.G.M.S.) where our prime directive is the tracking, capture, study, tagging and release of the aforementioned appendage. Once tagged, the information is made available free online making it so much easier in attaching an Extreme Buttocks (EB) to a face and a region (names, addresses and phone numbers are available for a nominal fee to offset the Society's expenses). Now EB watchers will be able to print out suspected sightings in their area in advance, take the Butt Shot with them and lie in wait behind a bush or at a nice sidewalk cafe knowing in advance that their chances of spotting the elusive and often rare EB have risen dramatically. Because the I.G.M.S knows the danger an untamed EB can have on a community, certification classes are taught for a nominal fee by members throughout the world to turn others into licensed Extreme Buttocks Wranglers (EBW). As one of those EBWs, you can rest assured that this little miss thang will have her heiney measured, probed, spanked and photographed in accordance with guidelines established by the I.G.M.S.