Monday, July 30, 2007

MVB's Big Idea to Curb Illegal Immigration & Reduce the Cost of Living: Bring back the Chain Gang

Not very PC of us, but it seems to make a lot of sense: Put the nearly 90,000 Florida prisoners to work in the fields harvesting our crops. Farmers won't have to fear penalties for hiring undocumented aliens and will save money on the harvest-- passing along the savings to the consumer. Once word gets out to the third world that you can't get jobs in Florida because the state's prisoners have pretty much taken them, the problems faced with undocumented aliens will diminish-- and if they don't, at least the cost of living will fall. To make it fall even further: dissolve the FDOT maintenance division and get prisoners to do the job (like they once use to).

Yes, we know these are not revolutionary ideas and that it's been done before (and suspect it disappeared over time because of political correctness and economics) but times have changed. If putting prisoners to work in our fields and roads will reduce the cost of living in Florida, we say go for it.

By the way, the Florida Department of Corrections has a great website and we encourage you to check it out. We found it informative and entertaining. Among other things, you will learn that it costs Florida taxpayers $52.06 a day to house and feed an inmate (or $1.7 billion a year for all of them). Under FAQ's it has a "Death Row Roster" which lists names, crimes, etc. As of July 30th, Florida has 381 men (no women) on death row. Angel Diaz was the last one executed (12/13/06) after spending nearly 21-years on death row. Aileen Wuornos, was the last woman executed (10/9/02). Her movie Monster starring Charlize Theron came out the following year. You can also plug in and keep track of prisoners which is a pretty neat tool-- especially if you are a victim of a crime. From experience, we know that you can never assume after sentencing a prisoner actually goes to jail. Verticvs' ex was mugged at the front door of their home near Aventura. The mugger was later arrested and sentenced on another crime. They assumed he went to jail. Years later, they decided to check up on the bad boy from Bunch Park. As it turned out, he never showed up to go to jail and was basically "at large" which was alarming since he had left a threatening message on their answering machine before his trial.


Steve ("Klotz" As In "Blood") said...

The chain gang concept has a lot of merit, even before your ingenious application to assist with agriculture and immigration issues.

Personally, I would also encourage the return of public flogging as a way to encourage a sense of community. Imagine a pillory established in Hollywood's ArtsPark, for example. It would drive pedestrian traffic, stimulate merchants' sales in the area, and promote the new downtown area as a unique entertainment venue.

Recent remarks regarding downtown Miami's desolation lead me to believe that something similar might work there as well.

Excellent post.

Verticus S. Erectus said...

Bringing back the pillory in the town square is genius! It supplies what today's frustrated, impotent American needs most: an outlet that will safely release built-up frustration brought on from years and years of PC thinking. Now, from the safety of the masses surrounding the pillory post, all those who have been insulted, robbed, and generally intimidated by louts in cars and on the street will be able to release their pent up frustrations by returning the favor, so to speak, towards those doing their pillory pentenance. Just think about it. That musclebound-tattooed-surly-mouth-breathing-punk-with-the-Holocaust-haircut that looks like all the others who have run roughshod over your world, will finally get his (or her) comeuppance. Charging admission will allow this form of communal punishment to make a profit that can be used to raise teacher salaries. Trust me, people would pay good money to witness the public humiliation these assholes. Problem is, the ACLU will be all over it and there isn't a politician PI enough to introduce it as a bill. Anyway, thanks for the compliment.