Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Knights who say "Si!"

In "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," King Arthur is quoted as saying "Camelot is such a silly place."

So is Miami.

It is a rare occasion when MVB gets comments and when it does, we try not to embarrass our brave Internet travelers and ourselves with too much fawning and genuflecting when they grace our blog with their opinions. However, when one of you says we're not funny, that's where we draw the line. Recently, "Anonymous" said we were not funny the moment he read the word "Si" in an interview MVB had with Oscar Rivero, a Miami developer busted for ripping off the poor ("Miami Public Housing: Country Club for the Homeless"). In fact, he went further by adding "it's clear that there is an anti-Hispanic undercurrent to your joke."

Really? Oscar Rivero is Cuban for crisesakes. If he was Italian, we can guarantee there would have been a "Fagidabouit!" in it somewhere. All we can say to Anonymous (if that's his real name) and the rest of the easily offended, please don't go to the Dade County School Board and try to have us banned from computers in the classroom because we can promise you the ACLU will be all over your ass before you---

We're sorry. We got carried away. Please forgive us, sit back, kick your shoes off, have a mojito (our choice of drink here at MVB), and try to enjoy the inspired little take we call "Manny Mojito and the Quest for a Sense of Humor." It picks up with Sir Manny, King of Little Havana, and his band of Knights of the Mesa Redonda as they are stopped in their quest for a sense of humor by a group of very tall knights who live in the Redlands Forest. Very little is changed from the original script except for the addition of one little word.

Knights of Si: Si! Si! Si! Si! Si! Si! Si! Si!

Sir Manny: Who are you?

Knight of Si: We are the Knights who say..."Si!"

Sir Manny (horrified): No! Not the Knights who say "Si!"

Knight of Si: The same.

Other Knight of Si: Who are we?

Knight of Si: We are the keepers of the sacred words: Si, Ping, and Nee-womm!

Other Knight of Si: Nee-womm!

Sir Manny (to Sir Bedevere): Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!

Knight of Si: The Knights who say "Si!" demand...a sacrifice!

Sir Manny: Knights of Si, we are but simple travelers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods in a mystical place called Cuba.

Knights of Si: Si! Si! Si! Si! Si! Si! Si! Si! Si! Si!

Sir Bedevere (grabbing head): No! Nooo! Aaaugh! No!

Knight of Si: We shall say "Si" to you...if you do not appease us.

Sir Manny: Well, what is it that you want?

Knight of Si: We want
(pregnant pause)

(minor music)

Sir Manny: A WHAT?

Knights of Si: Si! Si! Si! Si! Si! Si! Si! Si! Si! Si!

Sir Manny: No! No! Please, please, no more! We will find you a shrubbery.

Knight of Si: You must return here with a shrubbery...or else you will never pass through this wood...alive.

Sir Manny: Oh, Knights of Si, you are just and fair, and we will return with a shrubbery.

Knight of Si: One that looks nice.

Sir Manny: Of course!

Knight of Si: And not too expensive.

Sir Manny: Yes!

Knight of Si: And with a sense of humor.

Sir Manny: What?

Knights of Si: Si! Si! Si! Si! Si! Si! Si! Si! Si!

Sir Manny (tears are rolling out of his eyes as he grabs his crown): Please stop!

Knight of Si: Noowwww...GO!

Unlike the original script, Sir Manny and his band of Knights of the Mesa Redonda were never heard from again. Rumor has it they, like Arthur who was unsuccessful in his quest for the Holy Grail, were never able to find a sense of humor.

No comments: