Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Britto vs. Seijas: Round One

Looks like the Miami-Dade County Commission's designated bully is at it again. This time, Natacha "I want my water" Seijas is picking on everybody's favorite diminutive Brazilian artist Romero Britto. She doesn't like his nearly gratis* designs for proposed new MIA attire. She thinks they're "tacky" and said "My maid wears better clothes than this." She particularly doesn't like the one design that is supposed to be a flamingo. She thinks it's really a snake. Besides not liking manatees, it also appears she doesn't care much for snakes either especially when they seem to be rising from the wearer's pants.

Which raises other questions only a shrink might care to dig deeper for answers. As for us, we're too afraid to go there.

Although we don't take Britto as seriously as others do, we think his "nearly free"* designs for the county are worthy. They will allow passengers something to gaze upon when standing in long, slow moving ticket lines or while waiting interminably for their luggage. Mixed with the proper dosage of hallucinogens, visitors staring at the MIA shirts won't mind any inconvenience since the only thing they will recall will be the "groovy, undulating snake charming shirts." In fact, we're inspired to offer the county at nearly gratis rates a slogan of our own to go along with the shirts: "MIA, man, what a trip!"

*The deal brokered by Visitors Bureau Chief Executive William "Bill" Talbert would cost the county $15,000 to own the rights to 48x48" canvas by Britto. Valued at $150,000, this art could also be used for county workers at the Port of Miami. This uniformity would help establish Miami, in Mr. Talbert's words, as a "destination."

For what? As a "fun and sun capital" for sure, but never as a place that would even know real art if it came up and bit it on it's cellulite dimpled ass.

UpDate (11/24): It appears the original design has been toned down. Today's Miami Herald shows the shirt split down the middle (how appropriate for a committee decision). One half is flamboyant Britto, the other (and back) is just one color (pale yellow). The "snake" is history. 1,500 have been ordered (5 per employee). Officials are considering selling replicas in MIA shops. BTW, the article mentions MIA wants to use the shirts to show the "friendliness of MIA staff." Maybe you should get Britto to paint smiles on their faces. Bright colored smiles with his signature/logo buried in them somewhere.

1 comment:

Steve ("Klotz" As In "Blood") said...

I've seen more tasteful colostomy bags. Emphasis: "tasteful."