Saturday, June 02, 2007

Bring Back Johnny!

During a recent mojito break at MVB, Johnny Winton's name came up. The former City of Miami commissioner had just escaped jail time for getting drunk and beating up a cop at MIA. Penitence would be community service and staying away from demon rum-- "No mojotos for you!" Verticvs suggested that the best thing that could happen to Miami would be Governor Crist reinstating Winton to his commission seat.

"Dude," Boss Poop replied, "Winton was on my 'Wall of Shame'."

"Poop," Verticvs said, "who are we to judge? Remember, the poor bastard got sauced waiting at a bar because of a delayed flight. Spending any inordinate amount of time at MIA is grounds for getting drunk."

The MVB staff offered toasts in agreement.

"And who hasn't wanted to punch out a hardass cop?" Verticvs asked.

Again, more toasts were hoisted to that thought.

"Winton," Verticvs continued, "really is my kinda guy. He's basically untainted by corruption and you'd have to look long and far to find some politician like that."

"That's for sure," Bobby Bermudez responded. "Hell, I'd take a drinker and a brawler any day over some low-life thieving bastard." The rest of the MVB staff nodded their heads in agreement.

"And he's for developing downtown Miami," Verticvs continued, "and is much more open minded and forward thinking regarding the Manhattanization of downtown than that nimby guy now occupying his seat."

"You talking about that song and dance man?" Basel asked.

"That's right, Lincoln. Sarnoff is still dancing around my question about the Marine Stadium. It's closing in on two months and he can't or won't tell me if he'd vote to save it if it proved to be salvageable. I betcha Johnny would save it."

"Yeah, but who'd vote for him?" Sir Manny Mojito, King of Little H, asked with a mixed-up British/Cuban accent that could only be invented in Miami. "From where I come from, we have no problem electing drunks to Parliament but I suspect you righteous Yanks are less forgiving."

"Bullshit!" Father Al yelled. "America's all about forgiving."

"Unless you're gay," Basel replied. "Or a Muslim."

Father Al pointed his finger at Basel. "Don't go there, you mincing--"

"Whoe, guys!" Verticvs jumped in between the two. "Let's stop our finger pointing and start embracing everything that makes America great. Johnny's been humbled. He's a changed dude. Let's forgive and forget and get Johnny back into his seat."

"Unless," Bobby Enzyte interjected, "he's against saving the Marine Stadium."

"You got that right."


Anonymous said...

Couldn't agree more (even if it was facetious). Bring back Johnny!

Verticus S. Erectus said...

We're not kidding. He was one of the best things going for Miami.

What a guy said...

Winton certainly provided entertainment. We never knew what he would do. Remember Winton harassing speakers at City Hall? That was fun. Then there was that time Winton gave his new business partner Manny Diaz a 50% raise in the middle of the night? That was a hoot. And the stories... Everyone had a story of seeing Winton out in public drunk. At 11:00 pm, 8:00 pm, 9:00 pm. Sure made us proud. What a cad.