Is it just me, or is there something wrong with this picture?

• Miami Today writes about the Miami Parking Authority's proposal to tear down and build a new garage in downtown Miami. The "Authority's" plan is to tear down the Courthouse Center Garage and build a bigger one in its place. What we don't understand is why don't they include affordable housing above it? Yes, the plan shows some forward thinking regarding ground level retail, but why not ten or twenty floors of affordable housing above it in a joint venture between private and public enterprise? More than another parking garage, downtown needs affordable housing.
• The Miami Herald writes today about the Downtown Development Authority getting criticism from all sides regarding its role and how it spends its money. Many, like MVB, think it should spend more time in the trenches downtown instead of in its lofty 29th floor where its annual rent is $250,000. May we suggest they take up Mayor Diaz's suggestion of becoming more grounded, i.e., moving into a storefront location where the sidewalks are cracked and the pedestrians are on crack. That 29th floor panoramic view the DDA claims it needs to sell downtown can easily be bettered when necessary by taking the express elevator up to the 55th floor of the Miami City Club where they already are a member. BTW, one of MVB's heroes, the elusive and modest City of Miami Auditor General Victor Igwe suggested the DDA get real nearly five years ago when he told the City Commission the agency could save up to $91,000 a year if they moved to cheaper digs.
• What's with India? They're planning on selling a $2,500 car there early next year. It's called a Tata and it's being labeled as the "world's cheapest car." Making it possible for India's emerging middle-class to own a car seems like madness to us. By 2025 more than 500 million people will be able to afford a Tata. What's wrong with improving mass transit? The gasoline burning car may well be the death of us all. We keep hearing the death knell as a Marx's Brothers exit line with Groucho tapping his cigar in his trademark crouching lope while leading his brothers and us over a cliff: "Ta-ta! The trailing screams are punctuated with Harpo's honking horn; so, so apropos for the automobile.
• Finally, to sum up this posting, for lack of oxygen the patient died, for lack of vision the world died. Erectus 9:3

*The first correct answer gets a "winner's dinner" with Verticvs S. Erectvs (or a reasonable facsimile) sometime in the distant future at a restaurant TBD. The answer must include the artist's name (so easy) and the painting's name. Any reference to the actual topic counts for something too. We just haven't figured out what that will be yet.

UpDate 2/16/08: Dana Nottingham, the DDA's director, finally gets the heave ho with a $180,000 severance deal.

Igwe Gets Down With MVB!

Victor Igwe, the mysterious, reclusive City of Miami Auditor General agreed to a short interview with MVB yesterday in the shadowy bowels of his office. For those who have never heard of Mr. Igwe, he's the Mayor and City Commission's fly in the ointment, resident party pooper, and all-around pain-in-the-ass. Over the years, a few have threatened to fire him because of the things he has uncovered.

MVB: Can we open the blinds?
VI: No.
MVB: It's pretty dark in here. We may not be able to get a good photo.
VI: Too bad.
MVB: That accent, it sounds English but with a touch of...
VI: Nigerian. I was born in Africa but raised in London.
MVB: And something else...
VI: Texan. I went to college in Texas.
MVB: Quite lilting in a mixed-up polyglot sort of way.
VI: (Nothing. He just stares through his Wayfarers, looking at...nothing)
MVB: So, what's it like being the City of Miami's Auditor General?
VI: (Still looking at nothing but now rubbing his temple) It's never boring.
MVB: (Awkward pause) We're surprised you don't list yourself in the City of Miami directory as "Dr. Igwe" since you hold a doctoral degree in Business Administration from Nova Southeastern University.
VI: I don't think so.
MVB: How 'bout General Igwe?
VI: (Looks up) Yes, and maybe I should paint a large target on my back too.
MVB: Death threats?
VI: No comment.
MVB: C'mon, you can tell us. Our readers, except for the possible exception of a guy named Klotz, abhor violence of any sort. You're safe.
VI: In my job, no one's safe.
MVB: Maybe a Hurricane fan is out to get you? After all, you discovered University of Miami was stiffing the city out of more than $400,000 in Orange Bowl user fees.
VI: I love the Canes and their new coach Dandy Shannon.
MVB: Uh, that's Randy Shannon.
VI: Whatever.
MVB: How 'bout Mayor Diaz?
VI: What about him?
MVB: Do you think he's got a contract out on you?
VI: Don't be ridiculous.
MVB: Well, your audits tied him in with some dubious practices over the years.
VI: Please, you're beginning to bore me.
MVB: How 'bout ex-City Manager Joe Arriola? That's one guy with a short fuse. We think he holds the record for the "Fan Thrown Out of the Most Miami Heat Games." Maybe he wants to kill you.
VI: I'm sure he does but he won't.
MVB: Why not?
VI: He's the first guy they'd go looking for.
MVB: How 'bout--
VI: Stop.
MVB: We could go on...
VI: Don't. I get the idea. A lot of people have it in for me. That doesn't mean they want to kill me.
MVB: Then why all this cloak-and-dagger Stealth-Auditor General stuff?
VI: Just in case I'm wrong.
MVB: Well, we for one are real fans of yours. We'd like to give you an award.
VI: Is that the one where some guy keeps dropping his pants on the dais?
MVB: No, this is the one where we give you a big "W" carved out of genuine Swarovski crystal.
VI: Could you mail it to me?
MVB: It wouldn't be the same.
VI: I'll pass.