MVB's Inflatable Miami Finger Monument

In the course of human events when it becomes apparent that no matter what you do the world continues its downward slide into the shitter, we dedicate this monument to those who could have made a difference but didn't. Although inspired by the cowardly lunatics and myopic nincompoops sitting on the Miami, Miami Beach, and Miami-Dade County commissions, this monument owes its singular inflated importance to the one and only, the Grinch who stole Hope: Miami-Dade commissioner Natacha Seijas. At first her suggestion that the proposed Bay of Pigs Garage & Museum land grab behind the American Airlines Arena would become a world renown landmark rivaling the Sydney Opera House made us want to end it all in a flurry of mass suicide. Instead, we decided to create this monument. Made of green vinyl, the inflatable edifice to those who gravely disappoint and make us want to puke, is available for rental for those equally frustrated by the incompetence and impropriety of their elected representatives.

Please note: This monument is also dedicated to the private sector, all nimby's and in particular those who had no problem with turning the Noguchi designed Pepper Fountain in Bayfront Park into the base for a balloon ride.

UpDate (5/24): Sometimes you have to look for signs that there is justice in the world. Usually it's on the back page or buried in a newspaper. In this instance, it was the last item in a column in Miami Today. Bayfront Park Management Trust (two misnomers if there ever were) has requested legal help to hire an outside attorney from the Miami City Commission to get their money back. SkyLift Holdings defaulted on about $103,000 in payments due to the "Trust" before filing for Chapter 11 reorganization. For the record, the bureaucratic bozo behind this cockamamied scheme: Trust Executive Director, Timothy F. Schmand.

Driven to Fantasies of Civil Disobedience by the Bay of Pigs Museum

You awake with a start knowing the Miami-Dade County Commission of Clowns has done it again. Two days ago this Senate of Stooges voted unanimously to explore the feasibility of building a Bay of Pigs museum on one of the last parcels of bayfront land, land promised to voters that would remain park land in perpetuity. "Perpetuity" is Miami's version of a "New York minute": it's a lot shorter than you think.

So you awake in a cold sweat knowing your impotency and not like being reminded of it. In your fevered mind, you wish someone would firebomb the collection of yellowing photographs, a frayed rope and an old shoe in a building in Little Havana that basically makes up what is now a museum to that lost cause 40-years ago, making the whole question about museum building moot.

But you know you can't. There are laws against inciting that kind of civil disobedience. So you get up and go to your computer and post another missive on your blog thinking you're a modern version of Howard Beale, the insane protagonist of Robert Altman's "Network." Instead of urging your readers to throw up their windows and yell that they are "mad as hell and aren't going to take it anymore!" you sit down and type out a call for them to email their commissioners an earful of anger, frustration, and threats to vote them out of office if they betray your trust one more time. In that regard, please feel free to copy and paste the following email addresses into your favorite email program to let them know how you feel:

Mayor Carlos Alverez mayor@miamidade.gov, Chairman Bruno Barreiro chair@miamidade.gov, Barbara Jordan District1@miamidade.gov, Dorrin Rolle BMORRIS2@miamidade.gov, Audrey Edmonson District3@miamidade.gov, Sally Heyman District4@miamidade.gov, Rebeca Sosa District6@miamidade.gov,
Carlos Gimenez District7@miamidade.gov, Katy Sorenson District8@miamidade.gov, Dennis Moss District9@miamidade.gov, Javier Souto District10@miamidade.gov, Joe Martinez district11@miamidade.gov, Jose "Pepe" Diaz District12@miamidade.gov.

Natacha Seijas is the only commissioner who doesn't have a simple email interface. You will have to go to this page to open an email form: http://www.miamidade.gov/district13/contact.asp

What's worse than a hole-in-the-head? A Bay of Pigs Museum in Miami

The last thing Miami needs is a Bay of Pigs museum. County commissioners voted unanimously yesterday to study a proposal to build one on bayfront land that was promised to be held in perpetuity as an open space park to voters. Now there is talk about building not only a museum to a lost cause and one of America's most embarrassing moments but also a multi-story parking garage which the museum would sit on. This monstrosity to bad taste and broken promises would be built behind the American Airlines Arena, home of the Miami Heat. MVB understands how this could happen what with the political pressure exerted by the exile community, but it still disappoints us to no end when we see not one elected official question the merits of such an asinine plan. Someone representing the "other public" should have said "No way, Jose! Build it in Cuba at the original site when you get around to freeing your homeland. Leave what's left of our public bayfront land to us."