Only In Miami: Candidate's campaign (and we're not making this up): If you like oral sex, vote for Caragol!

Hialeans, please, please vote for Jose "Pepe" Caragol. Or, as his radio and TV ads say, "Si te gusta el sexo oral, vote por Caragol por sonsejal." He's everything many of you have been looking for-- and he may not even require you to worship him after he gets elected! The guys here at MVB know he's everything we've been hoping for. Of our crew, only Bobby Bermudez lives in Hialeah-- which frustrates us to no end since none of us will be able to vote for the 76-year-old Caragol.

UpDate (11/6): Caragol wins a seat on the Hialeah council.